Saturday, September 10
Could you be friends with your ex?
A question that enforced itself so many times on my mind;If you had a long term relationship with someone and then for some reason you broke up but you still had feelings for each other, what will you do? Will you just stay away and forget him/her? Then how would you react if you run into him/her with someone else? Or would you rather keep your friendship and accept the new person in his/her life? And how do you think that this is possible?
I’ll leave you with that and fly to Malaysia, see you soon when I’m back in Kuwait, take care.
PS; the painting is “ Lonely” by Therdkiat Wangwarcharakul
Name::AyyA
From::Kuwait
I AM WHO I AM AS I ARRIVE AT YOUR DOOR WHETHER I COME OR I GO IS NOT UP TO ME FOR I HAVE LOST SIGHT OF ALL DESIRE "Walled Garden of Truth",Hakim Sanai
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15 Comments:
I don't think it is possible unless you have no feelings for him at all and both of you had moved on. I believe it is healthy to stay friends but again, once it's over it IS O V E R
I have dated casually when I was younger, meaning went out with someone that didn’t stay long enough with her to develop a long term relationship or deep feelings to one another, that was the only time that I can say that we ended up to be good friends and used to have our birthdays together (we were few days apart), I met her boyfriend who became her fiancé and really liked the guy.. although he never knew we were intimate ( I mean it’s water under the bridge, and things worked out to the best..)
But in case of having intimate feelings to one another, it’s a different story, it has to end up of someone getting jealous and someone getting hurt.. so no.. I think it’s not a good idea to torment your self with a friendship that would be full of agony and pain from both sides..
ayya:
- I don't believe in a friendship with an ex, because it tends to be a coverup of hopes of reunion, which are extremely unrealistic.
- I think the best way to react when one encoutners an ex with someone else is to pretend to be blind.
oh no.. noway.. theres too much history and plus, there will always be some feelings towards that person.. doesnt mean theyre feelings of "love".. its just that u still care for that person.. cheers! :)
يقول الشاعر
مرّ الهوى في سلام
فلنفترق أصدقاء
......
الحزين وغير المفهوم هو حين ينتهون ألد الأعداء
ok..here's what happens...if you're the one breaking up because you have good reasons to do so...you have to cut it cold turkey right then and there...or else it'll be a roller coaster ride...then after a few months...you bump into him...your heart sinks...it's natural..doesn't mean you still care...it's just a shock that you get over a few hours later...then like after five years...you know you have absolutely no feelings whatsoever for him...THAT's when you know you can be friends...mind you...when it's a male friend...unless he really can't stand you...he'll still try to win you back...not because he cares..but for his ego....Hope this answers your question..:)
أوله عليك ياقمر ماشي
طول غيابك وضن كافي
أرجع تري لك بالحشي بيت
أرجع وشوف بهجرك وش سويت
رساله حبرها أحساسي
وعنوانها أضن حبيبتي كافي
Hope you're having a great time in Malaysia.
As for your question, I think people have to be very honest with themselves about the purpose of continuing a 'friendship' after the love has gone.
If you can't handle seeing your ex with someone else, then cut it off completely. Why go through misery?
On the other hand, some relationships do move on to be quite special and 'mature'
Have fun in Malaysia. And if you see and ex there, say hi :)
good discussion. hard to argue for either case. it all depends on the couple, but in most cases I'd agree with MsBaker, you can be friendly, not friends.
Miss Cosmo,
Your comment was an eye opener. Thank you.
Ayya,
Back yet?
I think it’s manageable if no intense feelings still linger. Of course we’re talking about a rational couple here who respect each other and who have agreed to try and work it out as friends. If, however there is an ego problem, like Miscosmo suggested, then you turn the page and close the book. I believe this could be applied to both men and women however. I mean come on, how many chicks out there’ve wanted guys bk just cuz they couldn’t handle being dumped?
By the by Ayya, I have a new post I need you opinion on. Looking forward to it in fact ;)
I guess I can sum up your general views as impossible to be friends with an ex especially when there are still feelings involved, and although I always believed in friendship with an ex, after all lovers were intimate friends at one point, so why can’t they stay friends? It’s a sign of maturity as Jewaira had mentioned. But you guys make a lot of sense; it made me look at the issue from a different perspective, good tip MssCos, and Hanan; thanks God I did not see an ex here LOL, thank you all, you were wonderful.
Ghareeb
Thanks sweetie, I loved it and I will be back soon :)
Shurouq
I’m back in Bangkok and happily wrapping up to go back to Kuwait, I miss my country and miss you all.
Peach
I will inshalla ASAP when I get back
True, but if he/ she settles to being a friend, then he/ should understand that it’s not the same as it used to be and that the other would eventually date someone else and therefore they won't have that time together, but I guess this is easily said but very hard to apply, it might even creat a problem with the new relationship.
I am schocked finding this blog becuase I am going through it right now! And honestly, it's terrible. I think it is possible to friendly, but not friends. My ex and I had a pattern of breaking up and getting back together. She finally ended it for a reason that seemed really contrived. I
was hurt,but moved on fairly well. Then the calls started. Invites to dinner at her home, just the two of us. Finding out that she is hanging out with some of my closest friends.
Is this fair to anyone? To want someone out of your life, and then proceed to hang around in their "personal" space? I don't think it's fair. Thanks for listening,Ultimate, and everyone!
Thanks Malmusic for sharing your experience, and you are right it’s very hard. But your situation is milder since you met her alone and she just confided in you. What will you do if you had to run into her with her new partner constantly because of your mutual community of acquaintance; say family and friends? How many invitations can you reject because you suspect that she will be there? Not to mention the chance that you might run into her.
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