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Tuesday, May 31

To You with No Respect

Money Worshipper

Workaholic you appear
Money for you is so dear
That you did not hesitate
To spread your greediness and hate
On whom you gave up for some locket

Wife is lost; it’s no big deal
Children can learn to steal
Your ignorance to their needs
Did not add up to your deeds
Except some more change to pocket

I hope that some day you’d pile
Your silver and gold in a pile
Ornamenting your stinking grave
To show how devout and brave
You’ve been to your lonely casket

Sorry guys I’m just angry and these words were vented out spontaneously

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 4:42 PM:: 7 comments

Monday, May 30

I’ve Got Mail

Few days back I got a parcel from the International Library of Poets. It contained a book of “Who’s Who in Poetry”. The book started with a diverse sampling poetry of which I was chosen with three other poets from around the world. Then it lists the A-Z of who’s who in poetry. The book is 413 pages and my profile as well as one of my poems are the first published in those samples (P2), which means that I don’t have to turn the pages to find my poem :p



This photo shows that book along with another book I received last year when another one of my poems was published in a book titled as “ The Best Poems and Poets of 2003”

Below is the poem which is published in “Who’s Who”; I thought I’d share it with you :)

Exceptional Love

Okay, I know I’m not an idol
Sometimes harsh, may be hateful
And I know that you’re the devil
Like cherubim reveal

And I also know that the girl next door
Has had fits from you before
I know you’re dangerous, and you’re wild
Swept the poor thing in your tide
I know that last night you made out with three
And the other night; two you set free

Mind you; I know everything
Your last fling, current fling, to be a fling
I also know that you know I’ve had my fits
And I know that you know, with wits,
That all that means nothing to me;
I’m yours with every breath my lung permits

In spite of all that
In spite of my harshness, your cruelty
Know that I love you
And that’s why I’ll set you free
And that no man can bring the four seasons in a day
In one single day
Except thee
May forever be happy
Whoever is your prey


Posted by AyyA:: at :: 6:52 PM:: 7 comments

Sunday, May 29

What are friends for?

Last weekend, I went to visit a friend, and in her place she introduced me to this gorgeous tall fellow, his solid six packs nicely presented the waves of his silk Giorgio Armani’s light blue shirt against a copper and gold skin, his well shaven, shiny smooth bold head, marvelously standing in harmony atop massive shoulder muscles. But his well trimmed body was not the only thing that grabbed the eye. His most attractive secret was that almond shape, hazel-green eyes that in certain light shades had shone in a manner that resembled those of a panther, they encircled him in a vibe zone that grabbed every one around. And I can’t really remember his other features, may be because the spell of his grabbeshing look was stealing all the glamour from his other complexion!…. or may be they were just too ordinary to be noticed, I don’t know, what I know for sure that the dirty look style added masculinity to his overall appearance.

You can’t deny; beauty is magic.

Anyway, as I was shaking hands with him; the guy looked suddenly familiar, I knew I have seen him somewhere, but couldn’t remember where or when. And the searching look in his eyes had reassured my doubts and intensified my curiosity. But it suddenly hit me right after he snapped at me; Ruby, the passion poetess, it was then when we cracked up laughing and started reminiscing how we awkwardly first met some years back.

And before going into details of that story, I think I need to introduce my friend Nagwa; a very special person who played a main part in our initial encounter.

This free spirited person, whom is hilarious by nature, is one of my four best friends. We are so unlike each other that we always argue about almost everything, and playing nasty jokes on each other was and always has been one of our favorite games. And although this may sound absurd; our nerve racking games added a special flavor to the quality time we spent together.


Now let’s go back to Mr Gorgeous (Mr. G for short)

On one of our outings for lunch, and exactly on October, 8th, 2001, my friend Nagwa and I met Mr. G for the first time through an unexpected turn of the events.

That day, I joined Nagwa for lunch after spending a hectic day at the office; I was in such a bad mood that I hardly talked for a good half an hour. And this only happens to me when I’m really upset. My friend, on the other hand, is the curious type, she wants to know everything and in little detail, a thing which I could not open up on that particular day. And to get me to spill my guts out, she has her own way of starting a fight which would eventually lead to a heart to heart conversation.

And that’s what she did; she started complaining about her salad dish not being fresh; some leaves were wilted. Waiters gathered around us, making a scene which I did not enjoy at all and my adrenaline level started to rocket high. Then the good looking manager Mr. G showed up and solved the problem by replacing her dish. That being settled, she was not yet satisfied because I still did not comment or say a word. The manager came again to check if everything was ok with us and started a conversation with my friend who was obviously taken by his charms. And as soon as he moved away she started convincing me that Mr. G had eyes for me, and she started mocking cartoon characters to express how much she had appreciated his looks. The guy on the other hand was still roaming around the tables, and when he noticed that she was making faces, he stood watching her while she was completely unaware of him. The act amused me, especially that I could see both of them and anticipated the coming episode. But I did not say a word and let her continue those hilarious acts she was pulling.

The manager looked offended by her act thinking that she was making fun of him, while in fact I knew that she was doing all that just to cheer me up. When he came back to our table demanding an explanation for her act, my friend was taken by surprise and I don’t know how in the hell she thought of pinning me down. She immediately and with no pre warning claimed that I was the one who was infatuated by his looks and that she was only mocking me.

That took me totally by surprise, and my sudden shock prevented me from defending myself. I acted like a total idiot which further proved her point. And the problem escalated when this guy actually believed her little lie and was happy and proud that he had his spell on me. Then in an effort to ease the situation a bit; she said that I was a Passion Poetess and beauty is my business, and that my interest in him was not serious.

We laughed about that all day and I totally forgot my problems.


Later on that night, all the events of the day kept buzzing words and verses in my mind and as a result stealing my sleeping beauty. Despairingly; I found myself slipping out of bed, reaching out for a pen and a piece of paper and hurriedly dumping down whatever came to mind before it’s lost. And finally when I was contented with what I had noted down, I crumbled that paper and tossed it carelessly somewhere in my bedroom.

Next morning, I woke up looking for that paper. It took me a while to find it behind one of the cupboards. I took it with me to my office, reviewed it and fixed a few verses. Then I typed it and handed a copy to Nagwa and another copy to Mr G.

I was in the process of publishing the poem, but since it is a long one and I am still not very happy with it; I changed my mind, may be someday I will. But the thing that intrigued me is that it took me four years to meet Mr. G again and explain to him what had really happened and that Mr. G had kept his copy in hope that someday we will meet again and that was flattering.

Dear Nagwa; this post is dedicated to you.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:43 PM:: 8 comments

Thursday, May 26

Not a “Women’s Only” Cry

It is sad how some women are kept in the dark for ages. They think that women’s participation in political issues is separated from home. They think that politics is men’s business and women’s place is her home. While in fact; the very essence of that activity is targeted to reform starting and ending at home. When Iraq invaded our country; did only men suffer from this? And were they the only ones who defended our country? Didn’t we all; men and women take a part, each with his/ her own capability, and participated in the state’s affair during invasion? How come we did not say it’s men’s business then?
The point I’m trying to emphasize here is that state’s affair is everyone’s affair; men and women.

A woman’s participation in dealings of the country is power. Laws would be issued to protect different aspects of her life and that of her family, as well as that of her future grandchildren; which leads us back to home; the very place that we claim to be where we should belong.

Think of it as your own home; would you prefer to have “ si sayid” controlling your household and applying his rules even if it meant fully providing for your materialistic needs? Applying a one sided ideology on you and your children, even if that meant strict orders that your children” as well as might you yourself” publicly obey and discretely disobey? Or would you be more comfortable with an understanding partner who would discuss matters with you and respect your opinion to come up with a better plan in running your household?

It’s the same thing in running state’s affair. This power that we women have gained would make “si sayed” think twice before he utters his ideologies, let alone enforce them on us. You only have to broaden your mind so can clearly see it. It’s not a gender fight for power as some might try to convince you; it’s more like a team work.

And even if no woman gained a seat in the parliament; your vote is power. You have to be wise in giving it to the right channels that aim for reform. Newspapers and lectures are a good starting point for your personal awareness of the right representatives, but be careful not to be brainwashed and only take what sounds logical to you. And when you are in doubt; don’t give your vote. It’s better to do that than giving it to people who would eventually destroy you and your country.

And although I believe that women’s presence in the parliament is essential, but we should not blindly support each and every woman running for the parliament; our views should not be biased to a gender, rather to the person who can convince us that he/she is aiming for reform. So long that our vote counts, we will be present in the parliament even if it lacked a female.

I have also noticed that many over-enthusiastic women, mainly on blogs, shouting for an immediate participation and wondered why we should wait until 2007, and I’m assuming that they have preferred the dissolution of the current parliament for speedier election. But in my opinion; this period is essential at least for developing the political awareness and for educating ourselves in this area. Don’t forget that we have been kept at dark for ages and most of us still can’t weigh the grave responsibility this entails. So the two years is a healthy transition period which I believe that is needed.

Good luck ladies and don’t disappoint our fellow men supporters who have lots of faith in us. And thank you brother for supporting me along the way.


Posted by AyyA:: at :: 4:48 PM:: 8 comments

Tuesday, May 24

The Moon

Although it has been discovered that the moon is an ugly place, we earthlings have refused to vision it as such. I for one had always been infatuated by the different shapes of the moon; especially when it’s a complete rounded sphere. In that sphere I see moving objects that pose for a while to form a shape that brings an episode in my life clearly before my eyes. Those shapes would blur again by the moving objects to form a yet another token shape that keeps me going on and on.

The act is so serine and comforting. It is also a mind awakening. Like a blend of soul and body meeting to review old files and project future plans of action.

As I was watching the full moon the night before last night, it occurred to me that I can capture these shapes on my camera, but unfortunately, it was too late to do that since the shapes were mostly vivid at the dusk.

These pictures I took last night, as you can see, did not capture what I had aimed for. I guess it was not possible for my humble camera to filter the light properly, and as a result, the shapes were lost.

Nevertheless, the dancing light in front of the camera made its own shapes, and I thought I’d share them with you, my favorite is the heart.








Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:10 PM:: 6 comments

Monday, May 23

My Treat

Bitter sweet chocolate treat
Is my lover’s taste to me

This is how it’s always been
And this is how I crave it to be

A bitter touch of melancholy
In a sugar coated intimacy

Gathers my self defenses
In a box of harmony

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 2:58 PM:: 7 comments

The sinful lust

In the chaos of my life
I’ve been bust
In distinguishing
Love from lust

I have learned
That sin is to lust
But to love
Is a virtuous just

But wasn’t it physical
The first look
The first touch
In nature’s book!

Wasn’t it lust
That first triggered
The soul as such
To be honored!

If it wasn’t for desire
That flared the first fire
Would the soul
Have bothered at all!

So why deny
Our sinful merge
When it was the essence
For the sacred to emerge!

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:12 AM:: 4 comments

Saturday, May 21

Surrender

The heart within my heart had called
And I keenly fell
Headlong

Leaning to the mountains of your stillness
And basking in the streams of your trust
I echoed

It was the pull in my marrow
That triggered
The inner prompting
Response

My heart kept pounding
As you called
Our gaze to meet

The locked gaze
Struck me by lightning;
I had to look away

In the drift of my life
How long I felt
Trepidation and dread
To take this path

But the call for the soul
Whirled around
Clamoring lust
Within me

That Astounding call
Of body and soul
Bit the fruit of life
Deep within me,
Capitulated me
And marked me
Decisively yours

A special dedication: ya asmar 7obak ganani for Nagwa Karam



Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:02 AM:: 6 comments

Wednesday, May 18

It’s our Privilege not our Right

Congratulations everyone, political rights have finally returned to women on 16/5/2005. This is indeed a historical day and this turn in the events had definitely made women’s non-participation in Municipality a big joke and I am expecting that this matter would also be altered soon; may be sooner than anyone expects.

But nevertheless; I am still devastated by the conditions attached to the first item of the voting law. And I don’t only see it as a discrimination against women; I vision it also as government’s declared bias toward Islamic parties; one look at the women nominees as well as public responses to the subject matter would give you a good indication of what composition is expected in the parliament of the year 2007.

Don’t mind the gibberish that we have been exposed to by anti-women Islamists’ move, when it comes to real action, they would no doubt fight with claws and teeth to support the more conservative ones. And the result; more Islamists in the parliament, and more Islamic imposition on the society because conservative women are even more hard headed than conservative men and firmer in applying their rules. And unlike men, women would not easily make deals; they are more principle oriented even if their principles did not make any sense and did not comply with the civilized world of this generation.

As many might know; these conditions will not be left void, an amendment “elmothakara eltafseeriyah” would have to be issued soon to explain and detail these conditions and don’t forget that the same parliament members who degraded women are still in action. This is their game now, and more deals and compensations are due in the very near future.

And although I have doubted government’s intention in the past regarding their seriousness toward supporting women; what happened in the parliament on that historical day did not completely lift my doubt. Take a closer look to what have happened; the same Islamists whom were against, surprisingly, changed their positing, why? What would make someone like Barad, for instance, change his mind overnight?
I can only see one explanation for that; It is all calculated; women participation WITH CONDITIONS means more conservative parties in the coming parliament, and I’m sure that major actions have already started to grant that. Don’t be fooled by the fight that demonstratively started between the Islamists, that was nothing but a stage play that they and the government mastered well. Do you think that the government would give up on Islamists that easy? It doesn’t make any sense; it’s their baby.

Now I don’t mean to be the party-pooper with this post. And if I tell you that I’m not happy with the accomplishment; I would be bluffing. As a matter of fact I’m exhilarated. But I don’t want this joy to blind me from those facts. And I would be a big fool if I did not read through the actions that preceded that session. Therefore; I see it my duty to remind everyone to be more sensible and focused toward the battle that is expected in the coming few days, we should not take things lightly. Prompt action is needed. And REDUCING VOTING AREAS “eldawair alintikhabiya” should be on the top of our priority list to reduce the chance of ethnic and tribal domination. Otherwise things would just drift from bad to worse.

This is our fight now.

Resuming political life is a privilege and a huge responsibility, it is not a right as per say.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 9:18 AM:: 16 comments

Tuesday, May 17

Reverie

Two half moons formed a full moon
Bright, eloquent, proud an' free
A pair of eyes watched it as soon
As they cuddled in a balcony

Poor dumb shore had a fit that night
Envious of the unity
And in spite of it’s devious plots;
It added serenity

I watched the love birds in onyx iris
Felt the passion in their touch
Was it a midnight dream of caress
For joy couldn’t have been real as such

What power was there in those lips
To yield me numb an' paralyzed!
And what touch invaded my limbs
That Venus I symbolized

Although far away, you stay
The phantom of my memory
Delighting my midnight dreams
And drifting my reverie

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 3:32 AM:: 0 comments

Monday, May 9

What a Thrill

Hush beach waters, for god's sake hush
For I am on the verge to blush
Don't give away my little secret
Symptoms inside ready to gush


Don't talk so loud all can hear
Him all over me, I fear
And you snails don't write love poems
On the sand and disappear


And don't gossip his stealing glances
Fetching my body as he dances
Enslaved, I confess, with desire
And daunted with ravishing romances


Oh, and what was in his kiss!
Alleviated all senses since!
No Beer, Wine or Vodka dare
Be of such bliss


That kiss is still on my cheek
Fragranced hair added to a peak
And eyes full of rainbow colors
Oh, what am I but a freak!


Soared up in air as if a blunt,
Delicious fantasy was in mount
“Keep your self control on this"
I kept hearing myself chant


But why ignore such a romance?
When happiness is utterly scarce
I only have one life to live
Foolish I'd be to drop the chance


Can't control the urge inside
To bundle up in him and hide
Behind his broad, passionate chest
Where my being ought to reside


Redo my beauty sweet mirror
For the coming date I shiver
Dare not think how it'd be
For this lad is so damn clever

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 1:40 AM:: 17 comments

Saturday, May 7

Age Doesn't Matter

She was 20 years older, but he didn't know that. Age did not draw its ugly traces on her body or complexion yet; so why would she reveal it. He was madly attracted to her, he knew she was older, but since the relationship did not burden him in any legal commitment, so what difference did it make if she was older. He loved her just the way she was; with or without anti-age make-up, late at candled nights or early in scandalous mornings. She fully satisfied his needs and kept a great company. He also admired this air of respect and wisdom that age had tamed her into; she perfectly suited his needs as she was.

She, on the other hand, was fascinated by his youth, but never took him seriously. She was a lonely widow who found through him the salvation that brought color to her life after her loss. Time (her old enemy) was horridly passing her by and kept her contemplating; how long would it be before the wrinkles were visible? And how soon would come the day when she would resemble those saggy faces which adverted for"fight-age" gimmicks and remedies? And more importantly; how soon would she loose this energy within; her sexual desire which was at its prime time?

Time terrified her and she had to fight it. She demanded her right to enjoy her youthfulness before it was too late, even if that entailed a "no commitment" relationship.

And because their secret was kept between the two of them; their relationship had hardly suffered any serious misfortune. They both understood each other's obligations and need for privacy, and both respected the age difference to the point that they hardly fought. Their boat sailed in complete harmony and was steered by understanding, trust and respect.

Their relationship was never normal if we can ever define what the norm is.
He was young and full of life and naturally loved women. He cherished his bachelorism. He even had to break a relationship that he was deeply involved with for the sake of his freedom. But this woman was different; she never interfered with his freedom. She had seen him with other women before but was oblivious to his lies although he knew that a smart women like her would never pass obvious matters unless she was cautiously willing to.

That was her secret; she was comforting and convenient.

She on the other hand, was satisfied and thanked her lucky stars that she had him even if it meant little time together. She lived for those times and called it "borrowed quality time" in which hours were spent with happiness in restoring her declining youth.

Amazingly; the no commitment treaty between the two became more than what they had hoped for; gradually he gave up his freedom willingly, he did not care to prove his manhood with other women. And although he still enjoyed his time with other girls but when it came to genuine communication and sensuality, it was always her. And she knew it even though the subject was never brought up in their borrowed time together.

But unexpectedly; the two-year union had to come to an end when one day he had come to realize how much he needed her and wanted to officiate their bond by marriage. She was shocked, amused and confused at the same time. Anyone in her place wouldn't have given it a second thought.

But she could not do that; she was older than him, and logically she had to act wiser. What would be the society's reaction to their bond? How about both families; his and hers? How would they take the news? And how about children? She could not possibly have children at her age. And although he had assured her that he did not care to have his own offspring, but how could she take it for granted that he won't change his mind in the future. Besides; how could she bare all the humiliation that this contract would bring upon her, she knew that people would never leave them alone and that she would soon become the joker and the joke of society gossip. And the secret which kept their relationship lively would no longer stay an intimacy they both cherished; others would soon be involved.

She had to refuse him and go on with her life leaving behind two broken hearts; each looking desperately for a replacement.


Posted by Hello

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:35 AM:: 11 comments

Thursday, May 5

The Unity

In my search to know you
I have come to discover
A legendary lover;
That subconscious me


In our maze
I ta
ke in
The lustful sin
You thrust within
Us

As we fit
In one body
The merged soul
Surpasses all
Chastity

To declare
A luscious affair
That dares you to dare
You
Inside of me

The riddle
The puzzle
The melted pot
The sizzling hot;
The unity

Of you and me

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:47 AM:: 9 comments

Tuesday, May 3

A One Day Meditation Retreat

Here it comes for whoever is interested

Healthy Mind, Healthy Body
PART II
A one day meditation retreat to take you deeper
into the experience of the human BEING

Friday 13th May, 2005
Kuwaiti Village, Fintas
Price: 10KD

Dress Code: casual for dance movement

“Veni, Vedi, Veci””I came, I saw and I became”

PROGRAM

9:00 – 9:30am Arrival and Registration
9:30 – 11:00am Session One – ‘Stress Management’
11:00 – 12:00am Session Two – ‘Dance your stress away’
12:00 – 12:30pm Break with a light snack
12:30 – 1:30pm Session Three - ‘The Law of Cause and Effect’
1:30 – 2:30pm Session Four – ‘Balance of Love and Law’
2:30 - 3:30pm Lunch
3:30 – 5:00pm Session Five – ‘Creative Meditation Workshop’
5:00 – 5:30pm Feedback and close

Retreat organized by Mrs Wajeeha Al-Habib, Director,Kuwait American School, Values-Based Education (Tel: 9631040)

We would request you to register early. Please connect with Samar at the Kuwait American School (572-0920) to submit your name and payment
"Each of us whether as individuals or as a group, are currently and constantly creating the future by what we think, say and do.”

Although I am a bit busy on that day, but I’ll try to make it


Posted by Hello


Posted by AyyA:: at :: 2:59 PM:: 5 comments

Sunday, May 1

Grieving my country

When it comes to politics or religion, I try to hold my horses and not get involved due to the sensitivity of both issues, but I don’t seem to be able to do that sometimes. It’s not easy to watch my country being raped, blackmailed and misused by ( kil min hab wi dab) and give all that a deaf ear.
It looks to me that there are a lot of Kuwaitis who have a dream ( if not a plan) that one day they would leave this place and start anew in a more civilized place, simply because they feel unjustified and useless against this corruption. The number of Kuwaiti immigrants abroad has risen since the liberation, and the number is still increasing.
And what would happen if we left the country? Who are we leaving this land to? A bunch of illiterates and retards!!!!
Reading through the country nowadays is very depressing, mainly because of people’s confusion and mistrust in government and parliament. I remember how Islamist suicide bummers (when they first started) devastated the West and they could not find any logical explanation for such acts. So writers and scientists began exploring Islam and Islamic history in order to be able to read the suicide bomber’s mind and know what would motivate a human being so much that he would give his own life for a mere belief.
This made me think; how could I understand what is going on in my country unless I live the mentality of my people; the tribal mentality.
Our government is the head of 3asheera, choosing ministers according to kin, renowned families and common interest with other trips and ethnic groups. It had worked for Kuwait before, because the population was less in number and less diverse. This type of ruling does not suit the civilized world of today. Our main (and only) income would soon dry out, we have the luxury today, yet it’s only temporary. How does the future look? Very gloomy!!!
Over-employment for example is underrated and no serious action has been taken to overcome it, a solid plan is not drawn even. The largest section in government budget is dedicated to salaries ( elbab elawal), a big chunk of which goes to people who do not even have a chair to sit on because most of them are in the wrong place to start with. There is no connection between education outcome and the actual need of the work force. And “wasta” is another pain in the neck; we can not deny that we also participated in ruining the country by accepting wasta and whoever can claim that they did not used it at least once in his lifetime is a big liar.
On the other hand; we have so many great minds that are not utilized, simply because we are tranquilized by the system; a lot of us want it this way, it entails a lot of personal gains. The people whom we have chosen to represent us in the parliament are busy working on forcing the government to drop utility bills so that people who have declined to pay their debts are rewarded and needless to say how would that influence our budget. But unfortunately a lot of people view this as a priority. Increasing salaries is another dilemma.
We need reform; we need re-engineering of the system. We need to put the right minds into action and this is the right time with the increase of oil prices.
You may say that this is not new, but are we willing to do anything about it? The most we can think is; stash away some money and I’m outta here when dark days come. Meanwhile; we are getting by, we are conditioned to live with this system and know how to get the best of it. But isn’t this a bit selfish? Thinking me, me instead of us and the future generation who are actually our own kids.
Leaving the country is not the solution; no matter where you go, you will always be considered a stranger, and the feeling of resentment towards whatever made you leave would never subside.
Unfortunately, democracy for a lot of Q8i people is more demanding of personal gains. But, what about the country? We all know that oil is our only resource, and that resource is finite. What will happen to the country then? Did we make any plans for such a day? Why should we? We do not have the mentality to think “planning” and strict execution, we have the mentality of a shepherd; when the land is dry, leave it and look for a greener spot and some of us, have already designed their own escape.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:56 PM:: 16 comments