Tuesday, November 29
They come stampeding
On the white page
An extra mileage
In their quest
They persist, penetratingly,
To reach you
They form a prude
On taking you away
Atop the wings of a cliché
In soothing, but racing moments
Yet, it's only a front
The truth is blunt--
They need your
With a wag of a hand
To allure You
Until you say
The final word
On which they may
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:44 PM::
Sunday, November 27
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 10:41 PM::
Saturday, November 26
Tick your Souls with the Right Rhythm
Music; the food for the soul. I believe as much as it is important for us to choose our friends, it is as equally important to choose the music we listen to regularly. It does affect us and affect the way we lead our lives. For example; if we listen to sad music all the time, we tent to feel sad or self pity. On the other hand; if we listen to jolly and revitalizing music; we tend to look towards life with optimism.
I have been labeled between family and friends to be Mrs. Chills, meaning; I always listen to chill out and those are the only CD’s I take pain to dig out in different stores. I do not care what language they come in, the rhythm that ticks is what grabs my ears at first. But I listen to them with my soul not my ears. I can sit for hours in a room lit by candles and listen to my type of music without feeling bored. Tell me what type of music do you listen to and I can tell you what type of a person you are. No, I was just kidding, I don’t claim to have such ability. But any way I would like to know what type of music do you listen to on a regular bases.
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 10:20 PM::
Thursday, November 24
Can we Change our Future?
Sometimes you wake up in the morning and think that everything is going to be OK. I could not sleep last night, I was too worried. There was this thing that kept my eyes wide awake although my body was exhausted. I tried to meditate, to read books, watch TV, and check other blogs thinking may be all that would take my mind away from the subject that was dominating it. But to no avail; I was too damn worried. There were two things that were on my mind and both concerned two dear ones. I remember last time I checked the time it was 6 AM, and then I drifted to sleep to wake up at 7:30 AM fresh and relaxed, a wave of settlement and serenity took over every cell in my mind. It is strange, but I felt that nothing is going to ruin my day and all will be just fine. I smiled to every known and unknown person that I met. And what do you know? It turned out to be just fine, may be even better than what I expected.
This got me thinking. Do we have this sixth sense that tells us about the future? Or is it our reactions or should I say “actions” that interferes with our future? What happened in this one hour and a half that changed my thoughts towards the same thing? And I wonder if by the process of our thinking we can actually redesign things or happenings in our future. And if this can be done, can we redesign our destiny? And here I do not mean the things that are within our control, I mean the things that we have no control over what so ever.
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 9:15 PM::
Tuesday, November 22
Borj min 3agli 6ar
Yesterday, I read this article in AlGabaswhile on the plane. And it astounded me how much people can use religion to justify their wrong doings (of course; this is my perception of wrong and right). It also reminded me of my last post on how “Bad” and “Good” are relative when it comes to people’s domain of thinking and ideologies. And just in case you missed it, please tell me; does this make any sense to you?
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:06 PM::
Friday, November 18
Time for contemplation
Good and bad to me are relative. Like when one thing is considered bad in a specific situation, it could be good in another. Like lying for instance or even stealing; they strike us as bad yet we practice them when we feel that it's best for a specific situation. So is good a propensity in humans? Or do we need set rules to direct us? In other wards; can a human being naturally differentiate between good and evil / situation? Or does he need rules and regulations to strictly follow regardless of the situation?
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 11:48 AM::
Wednesday, November 16
The Story of My Life
It was a brilliant July day
When love found us
The two of us.
No one but us
No one lusted--
Making love was
A game to play
I have wasted my life
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:42 PM::
Tuesday, November 15
Rain, rain and
With each drop
"I need you"
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 1:45 PM::
Sunday, November 13
Don't Test my Strength
She dreaded meeting Ahmad since the tragic day of their separation. She wanted to forget that he ever existed. He was once the love of her life. She avoided all the places that risked his presence. She abandoned all their mutual friends when they were together. She just wanted to live her life peacefully away from him.
And she was satisfied and contented with Ibrahim; a person whom she recently developed a strong bond to. She and Ibrahim shared a mutual understanding, they were good friends, and sex between them was exceptionally superb.
But she could not escape her stars; her fate planned an encounter with Ahmad in a place and hour that she had least expected.
She was shocked to see him, her anxiety to find an excuse for an immediate departure made her loose some of her self control in the beginning, but soon enough, she regained her right senses. Maturity demanded facing one's problems and not running away from them; she decided that it was time to face him and to face herself. To test him and to test herself.
The first thing she noticed was that Ahmad exaggerated his greetings to her, or may be he was genuine with his feelings! Who knows! She convinced herself that she didn't care.
The room was small with a handful of people gathering around a medium size table. They were seated on limited chairs that were cramped together in a small circle around the table, so their proximity was inevitable. But she surprised herself by the "indifference" mask that she wore on her character as soon as she awoke from her first bang.
She was happy with her achievements, happy with her indifference. Or to state it more correctly; she was exhilarated by her artificial act, not wanting to believe that she was actually thrilled to see him. He was once a part of her. They were once: one.
And in her effort to master her game, she casually conversed with all the attendees including him; skillfully avoiding his stares and cunningly pretending she didn't notice the face gestures that he was making every time he thought no one was looking in his direction. She prided herself of finally being strong enough to overcome the soft spot she always had for him, or at least that’s what she thought until she had to face test number two.
It happened when she was about to close the host's bathroom door behind her after she finished using it when Ahmad used the element of surprise in his attack on her. He grabbed her by the waist and squeezed her against his body causing an audible gasp to escape her throat and echo in the long corridor. His lips devoured her face savagely seeking their way to her lips and smothering them in a long seductive kiss causing the reserve fort that she built around herself to be crushed as if an egg shell.
He did not want to give her a breath to retaliate, and his trick worked: His familiar scent, his addictive embrace, his erected masculinity against her body, and the familiar song "you are everything and everything is you "playing loudly in the background; all conspired to explode all her dormant desires for him, and she became weak for him again.
When she took her seat on the sofa again, he was taking his turn in using the bathroom. She was glad that no one around had noticed her follies. And she was thankful that the music was too loud for anyone to hear anything. But she also felt as if she was back at home where she belonged in his familiar passionate arms, yet her weakness for this person who cared for no one except himself was not something that she could take lightly, she had paid so dearly to get over him; as much as she loved him, she feared him. She feared her love for him.
Her attitude towards him changed after he returned to where everyone else was cozily enjoying their time, she took off the mask and assumed a more attentive role. Diving into her thoughts; she contemplated what was it with this person that made her feel the way she did, she watched every move he made to get a clue, but she never found one, for Ahmad seemed too satisfied with himself for his regained control over her; he was too full of himself.
And as the hours got smaller, and the weather got colder, her mind drifted to Ibrahim's warm bed; spacing away from the crowd in reminiscence.
It was then when she realized that she did not care to know anything about Ahmad, he became one of the others. He did not uniquely exist in her life anymore. It was time to go home, her home.
And before starting her car engine to head back, her fingers urgently typed these words on her mobile "Baby, I'm sooooo horny for you", but before she could push the send button to Ibrahim, she received a message from him that drew a wide smile on her face. The massage read “well? Busy?"
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 9:59 PM::
Saturday, November 12
Time for Photography
A New Day
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 11:23 AM::
Friday, November 11
My First Villanelle
This is an old poem that I rewrote in a villanelle form where I used the repetitions for reaffirmation of the original subject. It was not easy, but I had a lot of fun.
For those who are not familiar with villanelle form please refer to this site.
Life is but a fantasy
Like holding mercury in the palms of the hand, yet
We hardly grasp this fact, do we?
Dear ones departed mischievously
Still we never understand that
Life is but a fantasy
The dead never comes back to see
What he had left in fantasy land, but
We hardly grasp this fact, do we?
Holding to sorrow is an idiocy
Sand sand, Dust to Dust:
Life is but a fantasy
Shake off the dust, feel free
For this is what's in our hand, and yet
We hardly grasp this fact, do we?
Let's endure ecstasy
As long as we breathe energy, for that
Life is but a fantasy:
We hardly grasp this fact, do we?
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 1:21 AM::
Monday, November 7
My new look
Finally I’m satisfied with my new look. Thanks to Jackos and her little 14 years old Graphic nerdi sis.: Irish Lass, who made this possible.
This post is dedicated to Jacqui; the Rubber Duckie
Thank you love.
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:08 PM::
Sunday, November 6
A wonderful Saturday:
I can say that yesterday I had a wonderful day. I went to fill in( a one hour session) for a yogi who could not perform her duties due to a minor health problem. The event was a full day meditation retreat under the title “ Motivation and Personal Leadership: the secret to success”.
The organizers were the Kuwait Meditation Center of which I am a member. This center had finally become officially open to public after years of performing their limited practice in Kuwait. The place was the Marina Mall hotel, and it was my first visit to that hotel. But man I liked what I saw. The place that intrigued me the most was the vast sea front. And the beach spot that was given to the organizers to perform a Yoga session was just perfect. Add to that the excitement of being a yogi for some of which are already great yogis. It was awesome.
And it was full of surprises as well.
First, I met one of my best friends (I only have four) whom I haven’t seen for a very long time.
Then, as I was making my rounds to check the poses I realized that one of my students was my Ayenger yoga instructor in Kuwait, actually the first Ayenger Yogi in Kuwait. This Austrian, rather fit and strong elderly( bless her heart) who spent most of her life practicing yoga was never in terms with me about some modification to enhance meditation using some Raja Yoga
techniques like music, scents and mantra. She was more into using the power of nature. And this made me nervous a bit because after going on my own as a yogi I used all these techniques that she did not approve of. And I was going to use them during my session yesterday, so you can imagine the state I was in.
Anyway; it ended unexpectedly; she came to me and told me that she had the best meditation session in her life and that she is really proud of me. And you can imagine how exited I was to hear that from her, because I’m only her student and will always be. What I learned from her had far exceeded the meditation techniques, teachers always leave a definite mark on you.
I also enjoyed group meditation which I have not done for a while due to some reason or another.
The group, the place and the cool breaze, all made my day, yesterday.
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:43 AM::
Friday, November 4
In a Trance
A strange feeling is a trance
Amazing how it conquers space and time
It takes me far and away:
On the beach, over a roof top,
A friend’s place, anywhere and everywhere.
Yet I’m right here in my room
I can see everything around me,
Although my eyes are focused
On nothingness which
It contains a journey to the past,
An awareness of the present and
It projects the future.
All on a three dimensional
Huge screen surrounding me;
I see faces, places, I hear voices.
Then I see his face and
Hear all our little chit-chats
We laugh till we cry
Yet no lips are moving
And no tears are dropping
All in an enormous world of silence,
Even though the music is playing.
Don’t bother with all the above,
In a TRANCE
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 2:16 AM::
Wednesday, November 2
Yesterday was a hectic day for me. I had to do a lot of driving around to take care of my daily errands and other errands that came along. All during Ramadan I have made it a point to stay home and not leave the house except for emergencies and family fotooring, ya3ni lilshideed elawi.
But unfortunately, yesterday I had to go back and fourth in Kuwait city amongst a traffic that literally did not move. And while I was driving around I kept thinking about possible solutions to cut the size of traffic and I meant to write about it, but our good old Bo-Rakan subagni in his article in Algabas today. I contemplated his suggestion of raising the price of gasoline and I think that; although it sounds logical, but I only see this solution working for a short while, because knowing rabi3na, I know they won’t hesitate to add loans to their loans leading the smart %^&* MP’s to add more drop of the loans over their drop.
Sorry Bo-Rakan, but with all due respect, your suggestion would only add more enemies to your list.
We need a long term plan.
1-Since our great government is blessed nowadays with cash, why not start an underground or sky train project.
2-Another good project would be to build a pedestrian/bike network all around Kuwait city trying to avoid crossing streets by building either tunnels or bridges. This project should include trees, small coffee shops or kiosks, public bathrooms, etc. Something like the sea front project only it should be in each and every area which should be connected to the adjacent areas by means of bridges and tunnels.
Like for example if I want to go from Surrah to Qurtoba, it should be more tempting to go walking or biking instead of driving.
3-Another variation to the projects mentioned in 1,2 could be; building the pedestrian/bike network underground using in/out access of the suggested Metro and provided with ventilation and air-conditioning facilities as much as needed to keep it healthy and usable during summer. Something similar to those underground pathways of Toronto/Canada.
4-A third suggestion is to return to the system of public transportation using public school busses. Why did they stop running them anyway? Siyasat elshad 3ala el7izam? This excuse is not valid anymore.
Well, this is about all I can think of now, do you have any suggestions you want to add?
3ala el3imoom kil 3am wi into bisa7ah wi salamah, and may God protect you from War of the Streets, allah el7afith.
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 4:16 AM::
Tuesday, November 1
Want a share in 7igool Elshimal?
Why do you think Bo Ramya said “to me it means yes” in reply to soba7 Ela7mad’s insistent refusal to drop the loans? Some people said that Bo Ramya is making propaganda for his next election. But somehow I have a feeling that this has to do with 7igool Elshimal; the mystery! Ishloon?
I feel that both parties (the government and the selected MP’s) are playing a dirty game. And the victim is always us; the people.
It feels like there is a pre agreement between the government and those certain MP’s to create a public story ( in this case dropping the loans) and busy people with it and raise people’s hopes then lower their hopes on and off in a rollercoaster, yet keep 7igool Elshimal out of the scene for the selective few in the country.
I wonder what would Bo Ramya say if I asked him instead of dropping the loans wouldn’t it be better to give each and every Kuwaiti a share in 7igool elshimal and this way he can get a better support form a bigger audience because all Kuwaitis will benefit. If this is his objective as he claims.
What do you think? Better than dropping the loans, no?
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 4:00 AM::