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Wednesday, September 20


The owner of this premises has moved to
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Posted by AyyA:: at :: 6:35 PM::

Sunday, September 17

Talaq Ba2in

It is really hard to give up on something or someone we are so used to. For more than a month I’ve been struggling with blogspot. All I wanted is some more organization to be able to categorize my posts. I transferred to beta for that reason but unfortunately; not only I wasn’t able to do that, I was also faced with trail of other problems. I guess holding on to what is dear to us is not worth it when that thing keeps agonizing us. That goes to people too. Some of whom I have been patient with more than six years
Therefore I decided to move to Wordpress, and to move on with my life on other accounts.
Wordpress doesn’t deal with beta version as of yet, and as a result I can’t transfer my old posts ( they promised to do that in the near future). But regardless of that, I’m so disappointed with blogspot that I don’t really give a damn.
I have decided as of today to start a new beginning, discarding all what bothered me in the past, no more Ms. Nice. And so I declare:
Bye bye blogspot, bye bye selfish ignorant people….. Life is much more worth spending on my own happiness, than waiting for a miracle to change my situation.
Fellow bloggers, my dear cyber companions in good times and bad; please visit the new me on The Ultimate, if the link dosn't work try www.3asal.wordpress.com and have a love break…..see you there.

An Update
I just realized it’s my second year with blogspot, the nasty troublesome kid LOL

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:59 PM::

Thursday, September 14

Toxic Love

Ask me to nourish you with passion till eternity
In mortal terms
And beyond immortality
Allow me to pave your pavement
With riches of roses from robust estates
Merciful to your fragile tread
Accept the ample services
Of a humble slave at your door
Begging for your forgiveness
Please; reign the jewel-studded peacock throne
Of this extravagant heart
And be its sole queen

But don’t ask me to leave I beg you
This decision is not mine to take
The oath was made by destiny
You are my everything
And I can’t stop
Loving you

Sufferings of one lifetime surpassed eternity
And suspended my mortal being for years
Leaving nothing for immortality
Your thorns bled the sole of my essence
Whirling my path through a whirlwind
Into a lost continent cursed with drought
Where your ample services seized
All what I have and swapped my identity
To that of a beggar at your door
Estranged in your lavish palaces
Sad and empty in
Solitary confinement

Set me free I beg you
One mistake cost me a lifetime
And contrived my destiny
I’m left with nothing
And your love is

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:47 PM:: 23 comments

Heaven’s Compensation

Katkoot is one year old today; my son brought her to me when he was traveling so I would take care of her while he’s gone. She was barely 3 months old at that time. I was a bit nervous at first since I’m not a cat person and don’t know how to deal with them. But by the time my son was back, Katkoot became my constant companion that I couldn’t do without.
Here is a poem I wrote about our first encounter:

The glistening iris kept dancing
Wondering who I was
Knowing what's on her mind, I had to be patient
Not to break her fragility
After all, like me she was in a strange mansion
Of different possibilities

I left her alone to explore my hospitality
She cautiously tiptoed until she faced me
Meowing, purring
Entwining her gaze with mine, a thread

Of hazel sunshine voyaged me along the bay
Of reminiscent far away shores
Where I watched sunset
Surrounding my image in his iris
And vowed to reside there forever

But that was long ago
And there was no forever

Now what kind of trick heaven was playing?
The new kitten and I both reflected and eased

The banging of construction workers next door did not distract us
Neither did the pains of the past

Two broken hearted, deprived
One from mother, one from lover
Now were united and eyes talked
Refuge, although lips never moved

I smiled as she lingered
Between my open arms
And I whispered
"You’re not alone"

Isn't she lovely?

Isn’t she wonderful?

Isn't she made of love?

Sa7i elnoom

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 11:59 AM:: 10 comments

Tuesday, September 12

The Infamy

Dedicated to the souls of the martyrs of the WTC on Tue. Sep.11,2001

I'm distraught with terrorism
Being of my race is a dire shame
Mixing flesh with steal and flame
On behalf of Allah’s name

The God I’ve known is mercy
Directing the "lost in course"
But it is an act of hearsay
To spread faith with devil’s force!

How dare they ruin my reputation
How could they distroy great men's deeds
It takes a second to demolish a nation
That took generations’ sweat and heed

Make no mistake, the infamy's mine
It’s my heard that has been boomed
Be it now or after time
Barbarism shall be doomed

I sadly grieve the innocent souls
The prey of pusillanimity
But twin towers shall always stay
The emblem of liberty
In spite of their cowardice
In spite of their cruelty

Certainly infidelity
To God’s endless civility

PS; I wrote this poem right after the 9/11 terrorist attack on the twin towers; I looked for it in my archives for two days and could not find it. Then I remembered publishing it on the Net on one of poetry sites and luckily; it was there. My original intention was to post it yesterday; but better late than never.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 3:45 PM:: 6 comments

An Enigma

This poem was inspired by NewMe's post

When hearts break to the point of no repair
How long dose it take to reboot
So we can start another endeavor?

Some can never go on
Waiting for time to fragment historical data
But what if the backup didn’t shudder?

The train never waits for those who come late

And some would take as long as
A new lover their hearts discover
To occupy the space vacated by another

What if this lover is never to come?

Some transfer from one lover after another
Until they’re settled
Or may be never

As for me, I’ve had many endeavors
Yet no lover could mend a heart
Bugged with phobia

I always thought love intensity
And the agony of separation
Stipulated each situation

I know now, I never knew any better

Experience is an image in brain layers
We need to delete it once and forever
From virtual remembrance
As if the past didn’t exist ever

Copying one image on top of the other
Would only create distortion
And more torture

But formatting memory is not reliant on time
Rather on a single command- willpower

Correct me if I’m in error
But I think I got the answer to enigma

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 2:42 AM:: 3 comments

Monday, September 11


From the archives "Oct. 12, 2001"

Too proud to admit
I've goofed up in this bid
When I willingly permitted
To be bullied by such a kid

Imagination is deceived
And grieved for a reason
Frustration’s what I received
With a foolish heart in treason

Had dreaded always his whims
Should've expected from him
Before getting to the brim
A devil disguised as cherubim

Got to get my head clear
Not to play with devil's spear
I'll pack my pains and disappear
For my heart is surely dear

Mood of the day " 50 ways to leave your lover, by Paul Simon"

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 2:13 PM:: 1 comments

Sunday, September 10

My Treasure

Dedicated to my twin on their birthday

Mistakes are age old, but mine was twofold

On a half wrecked, half sunken ship
I was Dumbfounded
When on a brink of a flight
I realized I was carrying a heavy freight

Friends and kin cautioned
“Dump the double trouble in the ocean
And save your skin”

My load was priceless
On a useless carrier
Amidst tumultuous weather
I had to pause, I had to ponder

But without any doubt
I chose to keep my twin treasure

Guarding them against the wind, against time pressure
Bumping one blow after another
And watching them glow and prosper
Until they molded into perfection

Today is a birthday occasion
Of the most rewarding mistake ever
Ornamenting the neck of a proud mother;
A string of two pearls in beauty competition

In the iris of my eyes
Glistening my ever lasting pleasure
Despite the abandoned ship in the gutter
Despite the weather

PS; I have disabled the comment option since this is a special occasion, I know you’d understand, thanks for reading.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 5:21 AM::

Friday, September 8

A Mind Break

Why is it that when you’re around
I don’t really know how much emotionally, physically and mentally
I’m dependent on you- until you go away?

Then, I start missing you
Reminiscing your little things
Things I never valued before-When you were around

Busy in my errands and pleasures
Loads I want to accomplish
Not to mention; I never paid attention
That you’re right behind

And when you’re gone
My mind slips into a bittersweet pause
From all the things I prized before
Into an art gallery of our time together

And regardless of the tart taste
I believe it’s healthy for my mind to take this break

The paintings become invaluable
Love portraits challenge one another
Making sure- not a single stroke is gone astray
When we’re back together

An Update
Mood of today
Santana Ft. Sean Paul and Joss Stone - Cry Baby Cry

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 3:50 AM:: 8 comments

Wednesday, September 6

Secularism (updated)

To be a nonbeliever in the land of sand is
To hold an ember in the palm of your hand and
Swallow your loneliness and seclusion
Insidious in your thoughts

It’s a sin not to give in to norms
Like an alien skinned from its own kin
And tossed as a leftover bone to the wolves
Starving for its flesh

Eccentric, fiendish, unworthy of respect
The walls closing, rushing to entomb you
In suffocation, frustration mounts the windows
Through which you reach out to others

But there is no one around
You’re on your own
Drowning in your own breath
Your resort finale

Freedom is controversy
And multi-user
It’s just a fantasy in this land of sand

PS; a dedication to Ben Kraishan

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 5:20 PM:: 8 comments

Tuesday, September 5

Energy Shortage Again

It is amazing how a ministry can go to a lengthy detailed report that has a lot of vocabulary yet expresses nothing but its role as a prey. In this report that was presented to the Council of Ministers and published in tow pages of Algabas newspaper I could only get these points:

1-It’s not the ministry’s fault; it’s the consumer’s fault for being not energy conservative.

2-It is also consumer’s fault for not paying his bills.

3-Blame it on government policy for fixing the sale rate to be less than the operational cost, although oil prices are constantly increasing.

4-We don’t have qualified personnel; give the work to private sector.

5-Government bureaucracy (mentioned in detail in this point ) in dealing with projects, therefore; the ministry is asking for more leniency in dealing with URGENT PROJECTS (was mentioned only briefly).

6-Using other resources for energy like natural gas and treated waters, or undersurface water.

Now let’s go over these points one by one:

Although the first point was repeated many time, but this is not always the case. With modern day technology people’s dependence on electricity increases, and that should have been included in the long term planning. Campaigns for energy conservations had been in effect more than a decade, but that did not prevent energy shortage.

As for the second point; needless to remind the Ministry that its personnel never went to check meters in the past, even when consumers asked them to do that and were willing to pay, they sent them home! Some meters were even broken and no one knew about it, now whose fault is that? Shouldn’t the ministry exert more control over its personnel?

As for number three; I say take your hands off. Find an alternative to bring down the cost and there are so many, but don’t increase the payment on the consumer.

I agree with number four completely.

As for the fifth point; why ask for leniency for urgent matters only; solve the problem, once and for all, for all the projects by reducing governmental liaison time need in all stages of the project. There are many committees with studies that were done in the past, use them. Because otherwise you will always be dealing with urgent matters, and this is mismanagement.

I agree with the sixth point completely and I’m surprised at how much money we have already lost by wasting natural gas and not using the treated water that cost the government a fortune to build its plants.

And the most important question to all service ministries: where is the liaisons between these ministries? Why one ministry digs a tunnel in an area for its services and rebuilds it to come another ministry right after that and dig the same tunnel for other types of services? Isn’t this considered overburdening governmental budget?

P.S. : I’m even more pissed off today; I woke up this morning with a sty in my right eye :(

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 2:37 PM:: 5 comments

Monday, September 4

I’m so Pissed Off

I migrated to beta version of blogspot two days ago to be able to organize my posts via tags. Unfortunately; I found out that I have to change my layout which I do not want to do. But it’s too late now. Another problem is not being able to comment on other blogs who did not switch to beta, nor can others comment on my blog. Luckily this will be solved soon as blogspot promised. As for now I enabled my anonymous comment and started another blog with the name 3asal just for commenting on others until this problem is solved.

On a lighter note:

Delusion ( a Senryu)

How deep do you think
In a rabbit hole one goes
In search of true love?

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 10:23 AM:: 8 comments

Sunday, September 3

Energy Shortage in my Opinion

You can fool anyone with almost any profession except; Engineering and Medicine. With these two professions any slight mistake is a disaster.
After liberation I thought that our governmental system was heading downward exponentially, unfortunately; it had proved overtime that it is diving head-first down.
So many factors affecting electricity and water shortages in the country that money can’t buy.
It’s seems like a big puzzle to most of us that a country as small and rich as Kuwait with comparatively low population rate per area should be suffering from the basic services like electricity and water. But if we analyze the system objectively, we would come to an understanding that this situation was inevitable and what is yet to come is even worse. And because this subject is lengthy and complicated, the real cause of the shortage is often overlooked. In this post I concentrated on the main issues, or the major problems that directed the whole country to this fate.
Let’s start with the annual budget distribution as allocated for expenditures in the state of Kuwait in the year 2005/2006:
Finance minister Mr. Bader Akhumadi stated in an interview with Alrai Alam newspaper the following:

الباب الأول في المصروفات يخص المرتبات حيث بلغت اعتمادات هذا الباب 1943 مليون دينار والتي تشكل نحو 26,9 في المئة من اجمالي تقديرات المصروفات
الباب الثالث من المصروفات وسائل النقل والمعدات والتجهيزات، حيث بلغت اعتمادات هذا الباب لهذه السنة 90 مليون دينار كويتي وتشكل 1,2 في المئة من اجمالي تقديرات المصروفات
الباب الرابع والخاص بالمشاريع الانشائية والصيانة والاستملاكات العامة، فقد بلغت اعتمادات هذا الباب نحو 940 مليون دينار وتمثل 13 في المئة من اجمالي تقديرات المصروفات
As we see from these statements that a huge bulk of the budget (26.9%) is spent on employee’s salaries and their accomodation (1.2%), even more than what is allocated for execution and maintenance of construction projects (13%). And that takes us to the policy of employment in Kuwait.
In broad lines; the government of Kuwait is supposedly responsible to find jobs for every adult Kuwaiti citizen. Most of the ambitious and qualified citizens would turn to private sectors, the rest apply to Service Berue ( Diwan Elkhidmah Elmadaniyah) and await for months to get assigned to a ministry. Service Berue usually gets the required qualifications from the ministries ahead of time. And according to these requirements, it distributes the applicants. But since there is no PLAN TO LINK THE OUTPUT OF EDUCATION TO THE ACTUAL DEMAND OF THE MARKET, most of the times ministries do not get the required qualifications and ends up with employees that hardly have any qualifications, when it actually suffers from the lack of specific expertise, and the Service Berue asks the ministries to create jobs for them, especially when the applicant waits a long time to get a job, in other words; it tells them ”itsarifow”. This created many problems especially in the service ministries (I will come to this point later); these employees would not get the jobs they sought, and most of them end up without any real work. Some would not even have an office to attend to. Other than having to pay them fixed salaries and accommodate them which adds expenditure to the budget. This in addition to other endless problems that this policy causes; Check Audit Berue’s report about auditing deficiencies in the ministries which applies to all other aspects and professions in almost all ministries and government sectors.
Now let’s look at another factor which I will call government bureaucracy in dealing with construction projects:
1- Project planning: although mid-term planning (5 years) is done by each ministry ( elkhi6a elkhamsiyah), no one is paying attention to these plans because they are too busy with other urgent issues that impose priority each year, one of which is the delay of the current projects which will be discussed in detail hereafter.
2- This is the minimum time flowchart of any government contract:
Preparation of specifications, 3 weeks
Approvals from other concerned ministries and government sectors; 6 weeks
Approval from CTC (Central Tendering Committee); 4 weeks
Tendering; 6 weeks
Receiving offers and evaluation; 6 weeks
CTC approval; 4 weeks
Preparation of contract binding and signature; 2 weeks
A total of 31 weeks which is roughly equal to 8 months and that’s just to sign the contract and start the project! This chart does not even include none-working days or low productivity months like Ramadan. In practice it usually takes about a year provided you have hard working, qualified personnel.
Several attempts were made to shorten this period but to no use. This system was applied to the state of Kuwait before liberation and still is with no enhancement, although it has many problems of which a repeating one is; not being able to sign the contract on time and therefore losing the budget of that year and having to repeat the whole process, sometimes with new specifications the year after. The result: a whole delay in the project to another fiscal year. As well as transferring some of other project in the five year plan to a later date.
3- After liberation many professionals like Palestinians and others left Kuwait, others were discharged. This left a void in many professions especially in engineering areas that needed qualified personnel. The only option was to use mostly inexperienced Kuwaiti working force, like fresh graduates. These Kuwaitis were under the mercy of the knowledgeable contractors while they were supposed to be supervising their work. And therefore; problems like variation orders increased and projects delayed, projecting its effect on the mid-term planning and the long term planning.
4- Add to that personal benefits( not always): assigning the job to a specific contractor as ordered by higher management has to go the official way. Hence comes the clash between the working team and management (sometime the minister, most of the times the undersecretary), the team here have to, by hook or crock, reject the lowest bets which fully comply with the specs. to be able to promote the specified contractor. This is not always an easy job for the team, CTC have their own professionals, and that causes another delay, if not rejecting the project all together. And here I did not mention this point as a norm, but that does not mean that it does not happen.
The above was just an example of the legal process needed in any project no matter how small. Bigger projects have other factors to be considered. Now you can imagine how long it would take to build a new power plant or station.

Project delay also has its effect on the budget; the amount allocated for the budget expenditure each year is not transferable to the year after except under very strict conditions. This means that when a ministry does not use the money properly, it had deprived other ministries of that money. And usually the surplus is divided between the employees as end of the year bonuses, all management levels are included (the highest gets the most) and some selected employees if there is enough. Most of the time; people who get these bonuses do not deserve it.

One way to overcome the complication of the procedures needed to launch a big construction project (involves many relating processes) is to divide it into fragments of smaller projects as was mentioned by the ex-Assistant Undersecretary for water projects Mr. Abdullah Alrejaib in an interview with Algabas on Sep.2, 2006.
This may take the pressure off the ministry for the short term and solve the problem with the allocated budget. But it also means that the execution of a single project would take several annual years. And a project that may take 3 years to finish might take 12 years and more, if we consider the contracting procedures mentioned above. Hence; THERE IS NO PLAN TO LINK THE SERVICES TO POPULATION INCREASE.

And on that respect you can measure other ministries.
What we citizens are experiencing today is the result of years of governmental bureaucracy and mismanagement which will not be solved unless there is a big shake in the whole system

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 3:04 PM:: 0 comments

Friday, September 1

Morning Sex

The A/C is cold and careless
The quilt is soft and warm
Her limbs are cold and folding
In spite of the pampered torso, against his warmth

Half asleep half dreaming
Verily reposing yet vigilant
Goosebumps creeping around
Each move of the contact point

Just a flick and it all started
East with West united
For the undulating feast
Body-to-body tease

Serine, monotonous rhythms
Bit by bit, picking up tone to a wild cry
As the smell of the night-before filled the air
And the dream became wetted reality

Sedated in lasting pleasures
She takes a side of the king-size bed
And drifts back to tranquility
Regardless of her wet body, of the hot covers

Or of that sneaking son
Of the early morn

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:48 PM:: 15 comments