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Saturday, October 2

Back to "Just a plain disposable lighter":

Here are all the critic's reviews I received in my mail so far about my last poem " Just a plain disposable lighter", I did not rewrite or change any wording, I just copied and pasted the comments::


Review1:
First time reading, I automatically notice the following: too many quotation marks, some not necessary; question marks, whereas a period or exclamation mark can replace; author should use a spell-check - we all make mistakes, but still... should not! Why the asterisks between paragraphs - not necessary; overall, good poem and meaningful - needs to be edited by someone else for punctuations, spelling, etc. - to me, it's extremely important - even one word can throw-of the meaning of the entire poem.

Reviewed by
Yana
Rated 2/5

Review 2:
EXCELLENT!!!! Excellent manipulation of negative & positive imagery! It has excellent descriptive tone! The metaphor finale was brilliant! The repetitiveness really hits home. Makes the reader feel what this person would be feeling. Overall very good!!.

Reviewed byLisa-Marie
Rated 5/5

Review3:
First class. Wonderful comparison combined with an easily read story which incorporates everything the reader needs to know Highly enjoyable

Reviewed by
slowerairs
Rated 4/5


As for the spelling mistakes; the first critic was referring to the spelling of the word "Kama Sutra" which I fixed later to "Karma Sutra", but thanks to my friend FCM, who gave me a link to a Karma Sutra site and this is what I found out "as was quoted in that site":

"In this webpage we have used the common spelling 'karma sutra'. Alternative spellings include 'karmasutra, kama sutra, kamasutra and kama shastra' "

And as for my punctuation; the great poet Pushkin, author of "Boris Godunov" and "Eugene Onegin", and the originator of much of the Russian literary tradition was always criticized for his grammar, but he never cared so long that thousands were enjoying his poetry.

Now I don't mean to compare myself to Pushkin; the critics can be of great help. But what I'm trying to do is to reach to you and find out how is my poem felt in public, because you are the ones I'm writing for. I'm still waiting for more comments on my last poem, and genuine criticism is mostly appreciated.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 3:24 PM::

3 Comments:

Blogger Drunk'n'Gorgeous said...

I'm not trying to nitpick or anything but it's actually Kaama Sutra, so you were right the first time.

Commonly, four goals in lfe (prushharthas) are : dharma, artha, kaama, and moksha. One who is foiled by kaama ( desire) is kaamahatah.

Literally, Sutra means thread, or line, or the warp and woof of a fabric. But it also means the "lines" of the Buddha in the sense of quoting the actual word or words of the Buddha.

10:47 PM  
Blogger AyyA said...

Thanks for the invaluable information friend

11:17 PM  
Blogger Drunk'n'Gorgeous said...

Always welcome, dear.

10:23 AM  

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