Thought of today

" Relationships based on falsehood are like houses built with their foundations in mud"

As I was preparing to move my stuff to the bigger bedroom in my place I stumbled upon a book I read five years back; Yevgeny Onegin by Alexander Pushkin( one of the great Russian Poets). This book made a turning point in my outlook on life and human relations.

A brief summary of the story:
This book is about a story written in poetry form. The leading character is a ruthless youth (Onegin) who cares about nothing in life but his own pleasures. He inherits an estate from a dying uncle and moves to the country to take care of his property. While there; he meets Tatyana, a 17 year old, naïve country girl whose experience in life does not exceed the sentimental books she reads. Tatyana falls for him immediately, though she is too shy to reveal her emotions. With her optimism for love she did not sense that Onegin changed women as he changed his shirts everyday, and that he did not think for once that women were worthy of anything but a one night stand. So she sends him a lengthy letter expressing her passion. And although Onegin admires her skills in writing, he rejects her arrogantly and burns the letter. He befriends her sister's fiancé, and over a dinner gathering he insults her sister by trying to convince the fiancé that women are not worthy of marriage and that they would betray their beloved as soon as another worthy figure appears, and therefore he starts flirting with Tatyana's sister to prove his point. The fiancé gets aggravated and they get in a fight which ends in the fiancé's death through a duel. Onegin leaves the country and years back he meets Tatyana again in Moscow. Tatyana is now married to a prince who is much older than her, and she holds a high position in the Russian society. And now that Onegin is older and more mature he perceives Tatyana with another view; he full heartedly falls for her love, and writes letters to win her love again. Tatyana who lived on the hope that Onegin would love her one day and would come back for her, and who also marries an older man under family pressures, sees no way out of her dilemma, but to reject him. End of a very sad story.

The reader might think after reading the summary above that this is just another love story; but it's actually not. With his unique skills in poetry writings, Alexander Pushkin revealed a mass of complex human relationships dealing with psychology, history, and most importantly the complex definition of love. It gives an answer to all the whys and whats and hows in a relationship. The part which affected me the most was Tatyana's rejection to the man whom she lived for his love; do you know how much that hurts? It hurts even more than being rejected.
To the poetry lovers and to the ones that are suffering in a relationship, I strongly recommend this book, it sure is a must read.

Here are some verses of how Onegin expressed his definition of love for a woman:

"The less we love her, when we woo her,
The more we please a woman's heart
And are the surer to undo her
And snare her with beguiling art."


Here are some verses of Tatyana when onegin knelt at her feet begging for her love:

"I weep now. But, if an abiding
Thought of your Tanya* haunts you still
Know this: your stinging words, your chiding
And your discourse, so stern, so chill,
Were better, could the choice be offered,
Than this insulting passion proffered,
Than all these letters, all these tears.
Then, you showed reverence for my years;
At least you had some pity for me
For my young, girlish reverie:
But now! What brings you here? I see
You kneeling at my feet, before me
How can you, with your mind and heart,
Stoop to play this ignoble part?"
*Tanya: Tatyana

Based on a translation by Oliver Elton