Tuesday, December 27

Count your Blessings

2005 is approaching its final tick-tock. People are getting their list of resolutions and wishes. And whoever is doing that would be expected, at least for himself, to keep up his promises and to hope that some of his wishes come true. But life had taught me-the hard way, not to have resolutions made because simply I’m not the type that can keep any. As for wishes; I don’t make them either, because many a times I was disappointed when I expected things to happen and they didn’t. Not this time, I do not expect anything from anyone and therefore I maintain my peace of mind. Instead; I count my blessings of the past and just wish for a better year ahead. Whatever might come, it will always be for the better.
So instead of dwelling on the doors of tomorrow, let me count my 2005 blessings:

It’s been exactly a year since I have retired. A lot of people have warned me against it saying that an active person like me can’t just sit home and do nothing. Well, let’s see what I have done with my free time during this year:

1- Blogging: although some might think that blogging had a negative social effect on me, but I have realized that it was not a negative point after all. My social life became more organized to include only the people that I feel comfortable with. I have learned to say “No” to “the time wasters”, which gave me more time to spend with my close friends. I also did more cyber socializing; I got to know other wonderful people through the net and realized how “I’m not alone” in many things that bothered me before in our hypocritical society. I think I got to realize the true Kuwaiti’s souls that otherwise were masked behind social obligations. And that by itself was a blessing.

2- Courses online: I successfully finished a course online and I’m looking forward to do more.

3- Two of my poems have been published in books sold on the internet.

3- Getting into photography: a hobby that I discovered only through the past year and I’m looking forward to do some courses on that subject online.

4- Traveling: I traveled four times this year at times which had not been possible if it was not for my free time. And I will crown that with my trip to Bahrain for New Years Eve to meet a friend whom I have not seen in four years. I’m looking forward to spend my Birthday (31 Dec.) with warm hearts as I did last year in Spain. Wish me good luck in finding my other half ;)

5- I got closer to my family: especially to my parents which was not the case in the past few years.

6- I got my Engineering Consultancy Certificate in construction from the Society of Engineers. The certificate which gives me a lot of options if I decided to go into construction business again.

7- Yoga; although my yoga classes at the end of this year had reduced drastically due to family obligations. I still have my customers who are willing to resume classes whenever the time is right for me. And I also have new customers whom I’m planning to fit in my schedule.

Well, that was a lot to do, and so far I’m not bored of staying home. And although I do not have the financial privileges I had before, but people do adjust and I am contented with what I got. And would not replace it for all the money in the world.

Other blessings:

1- Kuwaiti women’s political rights were finally approved after more than forty years of struggle. And although I do not consider that as a right as much I consider it an obligation and a responsibility, but nevertheless, the first obstacle is cleared and I thank the mighty God for that.

2- After years of struggle with my ex on the proper way of bring up our children, I finally see that my efforts were not in vain. My kids seem to be heading in the right direction with open mindedness. They are making their own decisions, and I’m proud of them. The real joy of a parent trying to bring up a healthy generation in a confused society.

3- My mom's health is stable, although she still suffers from cancer, but nothing that the pills can’t take care of. God has been mercifully kind to us.

4- My half sister’s health improved and is improving unexpectedly. We thought we lost her for cancer few years back. She had to go through tedious operations and chemotherapy. Now she’s back kicking and resumed her work at the office, may God always bless her with good health, she deserves the best.

5- For the first times in years I do not feel depressed with the pouring rain even after losing my Internet connection. I guess this is a good omen.

Well, I’m sure that there are a lot of other things that escapes my memory in present, but not to make this list very long, I have to end it right here.

Please share with me your 2005 blessings
May you have a wonderful year ahead, and happy New Year

Ah; and happy birthday to me :D

A letter to God:

My sole mate in flat nights
The balmy arm on which I retire
To supernal delights

As this soul you lent me,
Bound and beholding forever
To your privileged proximity,

Has ascended to your way

Has seen your light at the end
Of a dark tunnel, and has cried:
Unto me thy light send

Unto the dear, the beloved
Unto human race
Spread, as an ocean, spread

And shine on all a brighter day
Posted by AyyA:: at :: 11:32 AM:: 22 comments

Thursday, December 22

Christmas; Not New to Kuwaitis

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la, la la la
Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la, la la la


To all my Christian friends, merry Christmas. And to all of you Happy New Year.

I wish you a Merry Christmas
I wish you a Merry Christmas
I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year

Celebrating Christmas with our Christian friends is not new to Kuwaitis. Moslem Kuwaitis were always known to respect other judo-Christian religions. And to give you a glimpse of history, here are some quotes from Eleanor T. Calverley, MD.the first American missionary woman doctor in Kuwait (since 1912) who had written in her book “My Arabian Days and Night(1958)” about one of her Christmas experiences in Kuwait:

“The joy of Christmas morning, I believe, was enhanced by our having to wait until after breakfast before going in to see the tree. Our colleagues arrived in the study, laden with parcels. Colonel and Mrs. More came in from their car with their arms full of daintily wrapped gifts. Last of all, His highness the Sheikh(1) drove up in his fine limousine, attended by an escort of retainers who remained outside when he came up the steps of the veranda. He wore a chaffiya (2) of white cashmere with a border embroidered in colors, and a fluffy woolen agaal (3), filleted with broad bands of gold. Gold embroidery embellished the neck of the brown woolen bisht(4) that hung from his shoulders to his brown leather oxford.
“Merry Christmas” the Ruler greeted us all in English, grinning at our surprise. We were all out on the veranda to shake his hand and inquire about his health, while he asked all the polite questions about ours. As he entered the house there came with him the fragrance of incense with just a hint of attar of roses. Thus are the handsome garments of Arabs, both men and woman, perfumed for important occasions. Then the door of the living room was opened and guests and family, with expressions of pleasure, found places to stand around the shining tree.” ( pages 130, 131)
“No one had spoken a word during the girls’ singing. The Shaikh knew the subject of the songs, although the words were in language strange to him. Moslems also believe that Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary. Their sacred traditions tell stories of Him that Christians have never heard. Our ruler could, without any disloyalty to his own religion, join in the celebration of Jesus’ birth. The children’s songs brought the program to an end.
The eyes of the little girls had not missed the site of dolls and other toys awaiting them on the floor under the tree. But before any of their own gifts had been touched, Grace, as spokesman for her sisters, handed the box of fudge to Shaikh Ahmad. In response, the honored guest, reaching into his pocket, drew out a small parcel wrapped in muslin and tied with a string. He handed it to Grace. Perhaps we all held our breath while she removed the string and displayed the gift: one hundred pearls- we counted them afterward- brought up by Kuwait’s divers from the depths of the Persian Gulf.” (pages131, 132)

(1)Shaikh Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah, Ruler of Kuwait and the father of the present Amir (1921-1950).
(2)Chffeya: a head wrap used by Arab men.
(3)Agaal: a head band worn over Chaffeya.
(4)Bisht: men’s attire worn over the regular Arab clothing in special occasions.

God, how much I miss the States at this time of the year

PS. Thanks DA for your invaluable gift :)

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 12:20 PM:: 18 comments

Tuesday, December 20

Sameera / the struggle of a single woman “X"

A continuation :

What a disappointment!

He looked so beautiful stooping to read her cards. His baby green eyes amidst a golden face mesmerized her brains; she did not hear most of what he said, because her mind was somewhere else. She fantasized herself into his arms; lips touching lips. What did she care about her future when this wit and beauty was right there in front of her? Isn’t that what she wanted all her life? Her thoughts were nothing that could escape Alberto’s alert senses though. His voice lowered a tad and its tone eased every time he looked into her eyes and read her desires. At times he even stopped talking, scratched his head looking for the right word that kept escaping his memory. It was hard for him to concentrate on his cards while this beauty was giving him signals that he couldn’t resist. At other times their faces got so close that she thought she actually felt his warm breath through trembling lips. But the Dog; although was hushed down by Alberto several times, she did not stop growling at Sameera and bringing her back to reality every time the lovers got closer than what her animalistic senses permited.

It was in one of those sedating moments when Sameera felt like something very sensual was about to happen, she sensed his desires in her veins. As if the whole room shrunk to where the two lips were about to meet. And may be she even got closer to him than what the beast allowed, because something provoked her to ignore her master’s threatening orders and jump determinedly on Sameera. And she did not stop her attack until Alberto carried her to the bedroom and locked her in. But that didn’t stop the B!@(* from barking the rest of the night.

When he came back he apologized to Sameera and marveled at the animal’s unusual aggressiveness that night, and how could animals be so jealous. That was not very comforting for Sameera; if his dog felt such jealousy, how would his girlfriend feel then? She imagined herself in a cat’s fight with his girlfriend, and that mixed her excitement to be with Alberto with a bitter tang. Now she was completely turned off.

To change the mood, Alberto suggested that they watch a half hour documentary about energy and the mind; he started the DVD and seated himself on the floor close to where she crossed her legs, leaning his back to the sofa where she sat. His neck from her view on top looked very tempting. He just looked perfect. And pretending to watch the documentary her mind debated whether to slip herself beside him or just “ti7terim nafisha” and stay where she was. Well, it did not take her very long to decide. She slid down and sat very close to where he was; both hands in her lap. Not much happened. Alberto was like a guru who wanted to enlighten her with the power of mind and the supernatural occurrences in the world. Nevertheless, the eye contact resumed intermittently.

Now she suddenly got the urge to touch his neck, and still debated whether she should place her arm on the sofa behind him or not, and yes, you guessed it, she did.
But what an experience that was; whenever he jerked his head to the back laughing, his soft neck touched the skin of her inner arm. It gave her those goose-bumps that come only with a long awaited excitement. She was dying to get a touch or a kiss from him, and it almost happened, at one time his face got so close that she could smell the distinctive scent of his flesh, but the documentary finished and Alberto rose to take the DVD out.

And as if something suddenly downed his mood, Alberto checked his watch and got very nervous and started blabbering about being late and having to get up for an early meeting and so on. Sameera felt as if someone had slapped her on the face, she got this pungent feeling in her guts; it was the feeling of suddenly realizing that she was not welcome. She grabbed her bag and excused herself out, and by the door Alberto placed two friendly kisses on her cheeks and that was it. But as she took few steps away from the door, she turned around and faced Alberto looking him in the eye. And before she could open her mouth, he shook his head to sides saying” I didn’t invite Waleed, he just dropped by”, she nodded as if in agreement and trotted to her car.

“How could this happen to me? What is he made of? I know he desires me, I saw it in his eyes, I felt it with my skin. Then why is he acting like a moron, I only wanted a kiss, a sweet reassuring hug, what an idiot, such a handsome, delicious mother !#(ing idiot, damn him, how much I hate him”….. And so on; she did not stop cussing and shouting until she reached the parking lot of her house.

To be continued

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 6:23 PM:: 7 comments

Sunday, December 18

Bloggers / Pay Attention

This is very important to all of us

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 6:39 PM:: 13 comments

Tagged? Fine..

I’ve been tagged by KUWAITI DEMON to post the pictures I use on the background of my computer. Well, let’s see; in fact I’m a very moody person, not in a negative way though. I mean my computer background changes with my mood. At times I have my own photos of which some were modified by my brother-in-law (he loves to do that). But most of the times I prefer relaxing pictures with a black background (of which some are my own modified shots). And I find A. Andrew Gonzalez’s paintings to be very soothing (you can find the link on the side bar). So here are some of my favorite ones. The last one is my own stitch work and is hung on the wall above my desk.
Thanks DA :)
Now I guess I’m supposed to tag others, so here it goes:
Elegance, Misguided and Shosho….. COME ON DOWWWWWWWN.

An update:

My stitch work as per DA’s request; gali wi 6alab….

Another one of my stitch work as a compliment :)

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 9:36 AM:: 3 comments

Thursday, December 15

Sameera / the struggle of a single woman “IX"

A continuation

Rendezvous
Next day she almost had a nervous break down, she desperately needed to see Alberto, yet, for some reason; she was too scared to meet him alone, behind closed doors. It was not as if she had never been in that situation with other men before, but why was she so nervous to meet Alberto? And another incident in the office added to her agony; someone leaked a gossip to her that made her furious. Yet, she couldn’t blame anyone but herself; she had been very close to her employees to a point that they even dirty-joked together, now they all seem distant because she was the one who created that distance with her constant absent mindedness. She knew that she had better straighten up, because her career was at stake.

And choosing the right dress was another hassle, she always knew what to wear for each occasion, and her slender body helped a lot in enhancing any cut, so she never had any problem. Yet, she couldn’t decide what to wear for Alberto. Nothing seemed right. And for the first time she hated the fat figure, looking back at her from the mirror. She finally resigned for a tight jeans and a sexy black top. Ah, and one more thing, she was PMSing.

And although it took her about twenty minutes to get to Alberto’s place, she did not feel the time passing, actually, she wanted to prolong the distance so that those butterflies knotting up in her stomach would disappear. She did not want to seem too eager to see him, she had to calm herself, but as she approached his place her heart beats started increasing and she had to stop several times to take a breath before dragging her feet to his door. She rang the bell while resting her head to the wall.

As soon as the door opened to reveal Waleed behind it, she jerked with a shock that muted her tongue for a while, but she managed to answer his greetings with some nodding of her head and understood from him that Alberto was barbequing in the balcony. And when she entered the long corridor that the door opened into, a huge dog appeared from the opposite end. The beast took one look at her and started barking, Alberto came out to calm the dog, and shoved her away every time she started at Sameera. Well, that sure wasn’t a good beginning. And from then onward a mutual hatred between Sameera and the dog started; she was too alert to his presence and the dog was too determined to attack. He didn’t stop barking until Sameera stood meters away from her master.

That whole situation and Waleeds’s presence was a big disappointment at first, but she soon realized that not being alone with Alberto was a kind of relief after all. But Waleed acted strangely. Just like a little kid, he brought all his Arabic CD’s from the car and insisted that Sameera listens to them leaving Alberto in the balcony alone. And out of politeness, she conversed with Waleed for a while about his CD's not knowing that Waleed is the type that would never shut his mouth once it's opened; one subject leading to another, not even leaving a space for his listener to comment. It took a lot of effort from her side to excuse herself and join Alberto whom did not look very pleased to be abandoned. And then, Waleed came towards them, said his goodbyes and left. And despite Alberto’s friendly gesture to walk his friend to the door, the whole episode left Sameera speechless with an image of two tense mature men.

And as soon as Waleed left, Alberto disappeared in his bedroom while Sameera went to the living room and seated herself on a sofa. Only to realize seconds later that she was face to face with the dog. She suddenly froze in her place, not wanting to provoke the dog that apparently was watching her for the slightest wrong move. But to her relief Alberto showed up with Tarot cards in his hands. He seated himself beside her on the couch and asked her” what would you like to know?”

Now that question was not easy to answer; what she really wanted to know was how would her relationship with Alberto go, but at the same time she preferred not to know the outcome in case it turned out bad. It wasn’t like she believed in fortunetelling, but she knew that Alberto did, and she didn’t want to risk anything that might break the bond between them, at least not on her first real date with him. So after giving it some thought she asked him to tell her future in general. And there, he spread the cards and expertly read each one out loud.


PS. li3yoonik ya shosho

To be continued

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 7:53 AM:: 13 comments

Sunday, December 11

Free Thoughts

Once a fish tried to extend its whole body beyond sea level
its gills couldn’t take the air and so it stood Clueless in
The middle, if it stayed longer out, it’d sure be
Vanished in a ripple, and if it dived it’s
To be saved but to norms it has to
Settle. Thoughts in my country
Are like that fresh air that the
Fish tried to wobble

Repeat: Succumb, Submit
And Stay under
Sea level:
Safe

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 11:43 AM:: 15 comments

Thursday, December 8

Body Communication

As a little child the big body
Crumbled in my arms
Anxiously

I smiled and
Ran my fingers through his curly hair
He sighed
His burdens were too much to handle
He wanted to be free

But I still ran my fingers through his soft hair
And another finger to entice
His scrumptious lips

And what a sight when he eased
To my touch and cracked a pleased
Twitch of a shy smile
And amidst glistening naive eyes

He moaned
And surrendered entirely

The music was still playing: you are beautiful
At the background
When the candles quietly glowed

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 11:26 PM:: 4 comments

Tuesday, December 6

Brain Washing Starts Early

This is an excerpt from 12th grade government school, religion textbook, pages (71, 72)

" قوامة الرجل على المرأة:
و سر جعل القوامة علي المرأة للرجل ما ذكره الله في كتابة ( الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعض و بما أنفقوا من أموالهم فالصالحات قنتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله) النساء : 34
و التفضيل هنا مرجعه الفوارق فى الخلقة و التكوين , و لالتزام الرجل بأعباء النفقات للزوجة و الاولاد , فقد اثبتت بحوث العلم و تحقيقاته , أن المرأة تختلف عن الرجل فى كثير من جوانب الصورة و السمة و الاعضاء الخارجية , الى ذرات الجسم و الخلايا , و مع بلوغها سن الشباب يعروها المحيض الذى تتاثر به افعالها و مشاعرها . و جوارحها , و تدل براهين علمى الاحياء و التشريح على ان المراة تطرا عليها تغييرات مدة حيضها بان تقل فى جسمها قوة امساك الحرارة , فتنخفض حرارتها , و يبطئ النبض , و ينقص ضغط الدم , و تقل عدد خلاياه , و تصاب الغدد الصماء و اللوزتان و الغدد اللمفاوية بالتغيير , و يختل الهضم , و تضعف قوة التنفس , و يتبلد الحس , و تتكاسل الاعضاء , و تتخلف الفطنة , و تقل قوة تركيز الفكر , و اشد على المراة من مدة الحيض : زمن الحمل , حيث لا تستطيع قوى المراة ابان حملها ان تتحمل من مشقة الجهد البدنى , او العقلى ما تتحمله فى عامة الاحوال , مما يختل معه نظام جسمها كله , و يستغرق بضعة اسابيع , و بذلك تبقى المرأة مريضة او شبه مريضة مدة تسعة اشهر بعد قرار الحمل , و تعود قوة عملها نصف ما تكون عليه فى عامة الاحوال , و اذا اضفنا الى ذلك خصائص الانوثة نفسها التى تجعل لديها قدرا كبيرا من العاطفة و الوجدان , بينما لا تبلغ ذلك فى امور الفكر و النظر , و الرجل عكس ذلك تماما . فهمنا لماذا جعل الاسلام القوامة على المراة للرجل , و ان ذلك لمصلحتها و مصلحة الاولاد و و لو كان بيدها و هى بهذا الوصف لاضرت بنفسها و بالاولاد من حيث لا تدرى و لا تشعر"


فرض الحجاب على المراة و منعها الاختلاط بالرجال:
وسر الحجاب للمراة بينة رب العزة فى قولة ( و من يقنتن منكن لله و رسوله و تعمل صالحا نؤتها اجرها مرتين و اعتدنا لها رزقا كريما, يا نساء النبى لستن كاحد من النساء ان اتقيتن فلا تخضعن بالقول فيطمع الذى فى قلبه مرض و قلن قولا معروفا. و قرن فى بيوتكن و لا تبرجن تبرج الجاهلية الاولى و اقمن الصلاة و ءاتين الزكاة و اطعن الله و رسوله انما يريد الله ان يذهب عنكم الرجس اهل البيت و يطهركم تطهيرا, و اذكرن ما يتلى فى بيوتكن من ايات الله و الحكمة ان الله كان لطيفا خبيرا) الاحزاب 31:34

و الاختلاط بالرجال ضرره معروف , فلو المراة خالطت الرجال , لكانت سهاما تتراشقها العيون و حينئذ تختلط الامور و تذهب رسالة المراة بددا.
و ذلك امر تاباه الفطرة السليمة و العقول الراشدة , فالحجاب صيانة لعفة المراة و حفظ فطرتها , و هو فى الوقت ذاته لا يتعارض و قيامها بدورها فى المجتمع اما و مربية و معلمة و طبيبة و داعية تؤدي دورها كما يؤدى الرجل دوره."

The book was written by Dr. 3ajeel alnashmi, Dr. Alsayed mohamad Noo7, Dr. Mobarak saif Alhajri, Ahmad sa3ad Almineefi and Kholood Aldayeen.

The reference for the scientific research mentioned above is:

"معلمة الاسلام للاستاذ انور الجندى : المجموعة الاولى : 452-453 بتصرف"

Can anyone see the contradictions here; if women are sick most of the times, are they legible then to take care of raising a generation? Are they legible to manage their households? And why did the reference come from a methodology book and not a scientific one which states facts?

And why did they deliberately discarded the condition in the first verse” bima fathal allah ba3thahom 3al ba3th wa bima anfago”?
And isn’t the second verse of Quran directed to the prophet’s wives, and a stress on “lastona ka a7ad min alnissa” and " Ahl albait"
Who are the ones who wrote these books and who are the ones who edit and approve it? Why our kids have to be at the mercy of this ideology, which is based on fiction and not facts?
I wish I could literally translate this passage to English, I really wonder what Dr. Condoleezza Rice thinks about herself being less than a half of a person.

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 1:12 PM:: 17 comments

Monday, December 5

Good Morning Pal

It is amazing how we don’t notice and appreciate people that we encounter with on daily bases until they’re gone. Those people whom we develop some bond to but never take the effort to tell them how much we appreciate them. We are too consumed in our routines of the day; we debate, consummate. We agree, disagree. We fight, make up, split, unit…. As so on and off until the end of the list. And although we well know that everything changes and that these same people are going to be somewhere else tomorrow, but we never take time to think about that. And when they’re gone, their good deeds pop into memory and develop the first real appreciation to that person. And we wish that we had taken the time to tell them how much they meant to us.
If you are in your office now, take a good look around, check the people you are with, and say a nice word to them, especially the ones that go unnoticed among the crowd. It will not cost you much, but you’ll know on time that you have gained a lot.

PS; Painting: “Herobot steps out” by: Dave Archer

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 9:11 AM:: 2 comments

Saturday, December 3

Broken Heart

I miss waking up in your brawny arms
Swathing me in your warmth on winter days
I even miss the sound of your alarm
Triggering the first bliss of my new day--
The soothing, genuine good morning kiss
Lodging with me as my day wafted by
To say the least; I miss your impishness
Those little things that Creases my gut’s sigh
Remember the day, we had a fierce fight?
Remember how both of us pledged a fit
Break up, but as the day closed into night
Lovers we dwelled as if we hadn’t split
Since we had parted, no one brought the smile
To this torn heart for quite a long while

Posted by AyyA:: at :: 6:02 PM:: 4 comments